Word To Ponder: Prententious

Pretentious is used three ways. First, it is for claiming that or behaving as if one is important or deserving of merit when such is not the case. Second, it used for showing or betraying an attitude of superiority. Third, it is marked by an extravagant or presumptuous outward show; ostentatious.

Here’s my relationship with the word pretentious. The first time I ever hear the word was from Lars Ulrich, Metallica’s drummer and self-described Metallica historian. It was during the week Lars was hosting the VH1 show The List sometime in 2000 where he said someone or something was pretentious. I had begun playing the drums earlier that year and Lars was my biggest influence to want to start up the instrument, so I paid attention to his words.

I was also entering adulthood and the meaning of pretentious had been in my subconscious all my life. Once Lars said the word, I didn’t need to look up what pretentious meant; the base word pretend was all I needed to have it resonate with me.

I’ve always been able to identify false authority figures and other forms of insincerity. It was there when anyone tried to exert their insecurities on me. There was a lot of verbal and mental abuse I had to endure when I was seen as an easy target or pawn.

Creating a false bravado in order to gain something has been around forever. Conning people of their minds and money, or both, will always be present. But why are there so many examples of pretentious behavior over the years? It doesn’t really need to exist, but yet again it does.

Needing a bad day once in a while to appreciate a great day is necessary for perspective. If you come across a person who says all the right things and sounds good, are they just trying to sell you on something they aren’t? Are they falsifying an image of what they want to be and/or what they want you to see? Or, are they truly as great as they are coming across? Is it too good to be true?

Assuming everyone is a liar or con artist until proven otherwise is no way to live. There is rarely ever a black and white situation. Live in the gray and learn as you go.

As I’ve aged, I have become sharper at recognizing insincerities everywhere. Social media is where a lot of it has migrated and is permeated, but it is just one of many current land mines of pretentiousness.

Staying nimble to what you know versus what you don’t is a solid solution. For the sake of survival on the way to truly thriving in life, you should attain a healthy ego and humility. It can be exhausting to attain and is more difficult to maintain, but is worthy of the sweat and residual equity.