Thank You For The Courage I Lack

Thanking a Veteran for their service doesn’t seem to be enough. However, those I’ve seen placed on a pedestal of any kind reveal a certain discomfort, perhaps feeling praise of that variety wasn’t what they served this country for.

My twenty two years in retail have provided a litany of windows into the human psyche. I have witnessed some rude Veterans ask for special discounts the company didn’t offer anyone, only to later pull their service cards after they were first informed such discounts didn’t exist.

My younger, immature self allowed that to color how all Veterans were—just showing off and seeking attention and validation through those selfish actions, and the attire that detailed their service. I am not a fan of my younger self, with this old judgmental mindset being at the top of my youthful abhorrence list.

In recent years, I’ve found the boldness to thank these special people. During moments of a pridefully stated, “you’re welcome” from every Veteran, my youthful immaturity is always freshly revealed to me, and I deserve it. The vast majority of these people are showing their pride, not seeking attention. I also recognize my immaturity was steeped in shame of not being as courageous as them.

When I thank Veterans for their service, some ask if I also served. I don’t hesitate to admit I never had the valor for it. I tell them their choice to serve ensured that I had a choice not to, and is a big part of my gratitude. From older Veterans, they've told stories of being drafted, yet their pride is the same as those who chose to serve.

This year’s Veteran’s Day was perhaps the most important in my lifetime. I am hopeful it began to unite us as a country, a country that’s been divided by politics, with the division magnified by a pandemic.

We are mere days after the presidential election where its results are still being disputed. There are all varieties of hopes and projections and confirmation biases hinged on who won and if it was a fair election. I wish we all realized none of this matters near as much as it’s being portrayed.

These polarizing times have damaged relationships, and tarnished opinions of those formerly held in high regard. When we use our differences to divide each other, instead of having boundaries and civil discourse, then the sacrifices of Veterans can seem impotent and meaningless. We know better, and need to do better than permeate that toxicity.

I am intentionally publishing this one day after Veteran’s Day. These brave individuals deserve more than a single day per year of widespread acknowledgement, just as those who have died while serving deserve more than just one Memorial Day.

The Veterans who are still alive carry lonely, invisible scars that will live on in them forever, with traumas that will repeat in them abruptly, and place them right back into their versions of war mode. Creating a sense of goodwill through expressions of gratitude every day can prevent a far too common Veteran’s suicide, or at least remind them their service will never be taken for granted, and scars not lonely and invisible.

May these words be part of the continuation of us offering our daily gratitude for everything Veterans protected us from that has kept this country great. To all of you Veterans, thank you for the courage I lacked, stepping up so I could instead freely unite us with these words, and for us all to pursue our unique passions and the opportunities this country affords us.

Ride Wisely

Not often enough, we are unexpectedly tested in a manner of huge magnitude. These aren’t tests you study for by memorizing curriculum-decided drivel enroute to their desired end goal for you: an obedient and unquestioning tax-paying shell. 

Though not aware, you are always studying and preparing; by the choices you make, the stories you tell yourself, and the thoughts you hold until they’re ready to be released; all with intention, then critical reflection to sharpen.

When one of these tests occurs, you’re rattled and scared into questioning everything you knew, thought, want, need, what everything prior has meant, and what it all means with an upside down world. It is cruel, but meant to be the ultimate jarring interruption toward positive change.

This wave, you can choose to ride. You can even influence its size and direction for the greater good of all by making scarce of former comforts and conveniences-to remind, reflect, recalibrate, refocus, and/or change direction and affiliations based on how others interpret, inquire, and ride the wave. 

Callous your feet on this wave toward inclining your mind to make wise, informed choices. Be not selfish. Don't buy into needing more distractions, we've been over-stimulated prior to all this.

Now it's time to look very close at yourself and what always mattered, perhaps all that's been much neglected.....Ride wisely.