4/6/24

Well, it’s been a while, how about an update!

You ever have a really tight muscle that takes many massages and a well-rounded routine of eating healthier, better hydration throughout each day, and consistent stretching and exercise to begin feeling better and find your true, proper posture? Well, that’s where I have metaphorically been. 

Comfort zones are wild. Three years ago, I needed to find a different, well, discomfort zone. I have been getting more familiar with this better-for-me type of uncomfortable, all in service of eventually writing for a living.

Recently, I was struggling with how to get started in the freelancing part of the equation. With advice from some who know more than me, I decided to do something wildly out of my comfort zone: reach out to fellow writers on LinkedIn for advice in the freelancing space.

Of the seventy-plus total strangers I reached out to, about two thirds got back to me. Only one person had a terrible attitude, and a planned conversation with someone else didn’t happen. It turned out for the better due to their “apology.” I’d say that is a great overall average! 

The rest that responded were generous with really good advice. Many said some of the same things, which was great for affirmation. They also showed me different perspectives, which added helpful wrinkles while opening my mind in ways I wouldn’t have thought of.  

In that span of about three weeks, I also posted links to two of my website pieces to LinkedIn. I stopped at two because I got caught up in analytics like a proper social media junkie. 

The more time I spent on LinkedIn the more I realized that it was becoming unhealthy for me.

Though not as bad as the other social media platforms where I have accounts, LinkedIn was rife with toxic positivity, bragging, and faux vulnerability—I couldn’t tell what was real and what was not. To boot, I got quite overwhelmed by all those who responded to me. To my current shame, I still haven’t gotten back to all of them.

Despite its downfalls I’ve observed, LinkedIn has the most upside to form those genuine connections, and my observations are not what its potential for me and the people I have met and may meet. Because, most importantly, I don’t want to make anything other than genuine connections. Making those in real life is hard enough for me, it’s even more difficult digitally when it’s easier to be misinterpreted, which has been a lifelong battle.

For now, I pivoted away from LinkedIn to more clearly see some possible next steps. To make the most of what I’ve learned from this so far, I need to find a healthy way at least be on LinkedIn. If a healthy way is not found, like anything, then I need to stay away for good.

About two weeks ago I was able to send my manuscript of poems to my editor. It’s both exciting and daunting, as I am going to self publish it. I already know what my next book will be after that, and the one after that. They will be three different types of books, because I will not be pigeonholed by myself or anyone else.

Besides potential healthy social media habits, I am considering some old school ways to get the word of my words out and combine them in the modern world. I could spend a ton of time trying to fit in and doing what many others do, but choosing to self publish was so I don’t have to play the broken traditional game and follow trends. 

I would love to replace my retail independent contractor roles and do earn my sole living with my writing—it is why I take in air, and time is precious.

A friend of a friend shared an opening from a company that I am excited to possibly be employed by. I am also excited to continue looking into freelance opportunities I’ve thought of and that have been suggested to me.  Whether freelancing and/or as an employee while self publishing my books, it must all be mutually beneficial.

All I know is that, despite what my inner asshole of imposter syndrome says, I am ready to do this. It doesn’t mean it should or will happen right now, so I have to just keep doing the best I can do each day to stay ready and get even more ready. 

It is simultaneously exhausting and energizing to look back on all of the adjustments I’ve made in these three years, more so for the ones I’ve made since the beginning of last year.

The aforementioned figurative muscle is looser and I have more mobility now, which then further enhanced my vision, so to speak.

Like always, I am constantly monitoring what’s working and what isn’t so I can learn and keep moving forward—all in the service of getting to a place of writing for a living to pair well with a pretty damn good non-work life.

In order for it to work best for me and those who will work with me, future adjustments will need to be made as time progresses, notably ones I can’t forecast—I just need to keep my mind and eyes open.

Blazing trails has no set path of precedence, but what needs to always be maintained at the highest and most consistent level possible is what I have said before and will always say: making sure my relationship with myself and my continuing education is the best it can be. Without this foundation I have floundered, and I refuse to be in those and any other places that breed unbalance and complacency.