Word To Ponder: Skank
Calling a woman a skank is ill-advised, so don't be surprised about anything that comes your way from it. Begging off while thinking you can convince her you’re referring to the style of dance for reggae or ska music won’t work either.
The problem I have with this word is how laden it is of judgment. Not just with how others use it, but even the way the word is defined. “One who is considered to be sexually promiscuous, especially of a woman” is rife with assumptions.
A woman scantily clad is enough for some to conclude she is easy to bed. Some women may be inappropriately dressed, but isn’t necessarily an indication of how many sexual partners she's had or will have.
How could someone be "considered" sexually promiscuous? Being a flirt, perhaps? A woman who is a scantily clad flirt could be assumed to be sleeping around or have many sexual partners. Still, the picture is incomplete.
I've known plenty of women who simply enjoy and appreciate the attention they receive when they doll themselves up, revealing clothing or not. Some are a tad naïve in their hopes and/or expectations of men around attractive women.
A woman saying they're not interested to a man expressing interest should be enough. The men who can't take that simple statement for what it is will assume the woman is playing hard to get because of how she's dressed.
The kindest rejection is still rejection and an affront to some men's manhood, and the true selves of those men may come out. Mean and hurtful rejections can begin or escalate a negative situation for all involved.
A woman's lively, buoyant personality could also be misinterpreted. Loudness in voice, apparel, or both could be seen as insecurity or someone who is quite sexually active. It could also confuse what is real versus an act.
For decades, there has been the idea of studs and sluts. Meaning, a man who has had sex with lots of women is a stud, and a women who has had sex with lots of men is a slut. I think it's because women are the more intelligent gender and a man just wants what will make him happy in a moment sans big picture.
When a woman lowers herself to a man’s typical mentality, she may not be completely in touch with herself. Women are emotional beings that need to feel a true connection to someone before being intimate, even for a kiss. Chivalry has been utilized for many years to cater to women’s unique emotional needs and give them the security they need and deserve to feel.
Women who are in tune with themselves can spot a ruse masquerading as a chivalrous man with good intentions. A women not in touch with herself could wind up sexually promiscuous. Let me make this clear: a woman who has had many loving relationships is not a skank.
Even if a women is sexually promiscuous, I still abhor the word skank. Assumption is wrong and unfair and doesn't belong, even in this ever non-fair world. Everyone has beauty and a unique journey towards it. For someone to not realize all their potential and waste it on anything below a high standard is heartbreaking.
Someone who is broken needs compassion and empathy, not long stares and dirty looks or other forms of judgement. Something is not right within their soul that caused them to sleep around, drink and/or do drugs to excess, eat their feelings into long term health concerns, etc.
I hope I will live to see the day where snap judgments are rare, and people invest in each other to lift each other up instead of tear each other down. We gain nothing, but highlight our own insecurities, and it needs to stop.
The word skank and its related connotations is just the example I chose to use to make this over-arching point: everybody should feel they have a chance to be their best selves without worrying about others tearing them down about the journey it is taking to get there.